Summary AU: Frank looked around with a sorrowful glance, yet another sigh escaping his lips. He didn’t want to leave, but he really didn’t have a choice. Frank couldn’t find it in himself to even consider killing the man downstairs an option. He still had some morals left, even if he did willing choose to take up a life of crime.
Disclaimer Not real.
Author’s note oh, my baby is done. So here’s a huge thank you to everybody that commented on ‘stockholm’ back when I was working on it, because without all that love ‘bullets’ never would have came to be. sooo THANK YOU! and I hope you’re all happy with the ending =). I’ll miss my frank and gerard, and if I ever get an idea to use these characters in a another story, I’ll sure as hell roll with. but as of right now, this is the end =(. Double dedication: boobookittifukk & eveseventy6 =D. all my fiction listed here.
[sequel to Stockholm Syndrome. best if you read first::
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4]
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6
It was snowing, and Frank was shivering. He wore the hood of his sweatshirt and had his hands pulled inside the sleeves to keep them from being exposed to the cold air. With the sun setting, the darkness brought a drop in the already low temperature. Frank regretted not grabbing his coat first before he ran from the house. He didn’t know anyone in town or have any family to try to reach for help, so it was Frank’s plan to make it to the homeless shelter he knew was in the city. It was just unfortunately on the other side of town. Frank had no idea what he would do after the night spent in the shelter. Maybe, just maybe he’d be able to work up the courage to go back to call Gerard out on being a coldhearted asshole and then explain his side of things. Frank would forgive Gerard in a heartbeat if Gerard took him back in. Frank was too attached to Gerard to stay mad or hurt. He needed Gerard, Frank was sure of that. And that once regarded unluckiest, worse, and terrifying day Gerard took him captive at that Seven-Eleven, Frank now believed was the luckiest day of his life. It brought him and Gerard together, and though he never would have believed it in the beginning of his being a hostage ordeal, Frank believed now more than anything that it was supposed to be him and Gerard together. But now.. now everything was ruined because Gerard was a crazy heartless bastard. Frank worried things would never get fixed, but he had this obsessive need to work things out with Gerard. He needed Gerard in his life, otherwise what was Frank to do? What was the point in going on? Gerard may be a crazy heartless bastard, but Frank still loved him.
Teeth chattering, Frank walked on along the sidewalk, the snow plowed out and mounded on the side near the road, with his arms tightly hugging around himself. His breath was visible as it passed his lips, looking like smoke as it rose into the freezing air. The street was deserted aside from the occasional car that rolled passed him on the snowy road. Frank didn’t know how long he had been gone from the house, and he wasn’t about to roll up his sleeve in the slightest and expose his skin to the harsh cold to check his watch. It got dark so early in the winter and that always threw Frank off about guessing the time. The small stores he was passing were open, though, and Frank contemplated going inside one of them to warm himself up a little. He did this a few times before earlier in the night, just wandered around in a few different stores enough to warm up. He got asked to leave the last place he was in unless he was going to buy something, but Frank didn’t exactly have any money. And every time he stepped back foot outside, getting warm only made the harsh transition of temperature all the more painful to bear.
Frank was just about to pass the section of building that used to be an old bar and billiards hall. The property was vacant now, a sign on the glass window of the door stating that the space was available for purchase. If he could just sneak in, he could be out of the harsh blowing wind and air that stung his face and seemed to tear through his whole body. He didn’t have that far of a distance to travel until he would reach the shelter, but Frank truly didn’t think he’d be able to handle another minute outside. He didn’t think he’d be able to force himself to take another step. Frank was desperate to just rest, to be able to just lie down out of the cold. He was freezing and exhausted, and what he really so desperately wished was that he could be home right now wrapped in blankets, warm and safe in Gerard’s bed. This empty building was going to have to do for now, though.
He needed to be discrete and fast about breaking in, not that there was really anybody around outside that would notice. Frank moved up to the door and drew his hand up to the side of his head. He then quickly hammered his arm down so it was his elbow that hit against the window on the door. He didn’t want to use his fist fearing he’d break his fingers. The elbow was less risky and got the job done, but it sure was motherfucking painful. It was that ‘hitting your funny bone’ pain where it shoots up your arm and lingers, intensified. Frank just hugged his elbow to his chest until the pain dulled to somewhat bearable and moved to stick his arm through the hole in the pane he created to unlock the door. It was at that moment, though, that Frank heard the crunching of tires on snow. A car was surely heading toward his way on the street, and Frank frantically groped his hand around on the inside of the door to quickly find the lock before the car came to pass him in the chance the person driving noticed what was going on. He couldn’t feel out any locking lever of any kind. There was just another deadbolt keyhole on the inside. The damn door could only be locked and unlocked with a key. Frank practically cried out in a defeated frustration. All that for nothing, and Frank was sure he had cut his arm on the jagged glass too. He pulled his arm out and heard the car that was coming park on the side of the road near him. Maybe the person was just heading into one of the stores on the street or maybe it was a cop that had caught him in the act of trying to break in. Frank actually hoped for the latter. At least that way he’d be in the back of a nice warm cop car in a matter of seconds. Frank didn’t bother to look up and was just about to let himself slump to the ground when he felt strong arms shoot around him, keeping him from falling.
“I’ve got you, sugar.”
Gerard. It was Gerard. Frank wanted to punch him, wanted to hug him, but could only look at him as Gerard picked him up in his arms.
“Shit, you’ve got to be freezing..” Gerard carried him to his still running car, the passenger side door already open for Frank to be set down in the seat. “I’ve been looking all over town for you.” Gerard said when he got back into the driver’s seat. He twisted his body to turn back to grab something from the backseat. It was Frank’s coat. Gerard helped Frank pull his arms through the sleeves and zipped it up for him.
Frank was still shivering, his teeth still chattering, but he couldn’t deny that he felt better now inside the warm SUV. Gerard cranked up the heat, positioning all the air vents so they were blowing on Frank before he pulled back out on to the street. Frank figured they were heading home, and he was overjoyed. Overjoyed, but weary at the same time. Gerard had come to the rescue, but what would happen when they got back home and Frank was well and rested? Gerard’s obvious guilt for kicking him out would be gone. Would he get all upset again when the subject of robbing came up? Would he yell at Frank? Would he force Frank to go through with robberies with threats of being thrown out again? The sad part was, was that Frank knew he would go along with helping Gerard commit crimes if that was the only way to stay with him. Frank was far too dependant on Gerard, but Frank didn’t care. Frank just wondered, though; after Gerard pulled such a cruel stunt on him like this, did Gerard really need him as much as Frank needed him?
“Are you okay?” Gerard asked quietly.
“No,” Frank whispered back.
The rest of the ride home was silent. Frank had wanted nothing more than to be able to talk to Gerard while he was away from him, but now that he was with Gerard, knowing he was being welcomed back, knowing that Gerard obviously thought he made a mistake; Frank didn’t want to talk to him. Frank was feeling mad now and all the more hurt. Frank wanted to hear Gerard beg for forgiveness, so he really knew Gerard was truly sorry, so he really knew Gerard truly did care for him. That was a crazy wish. Gerard never said sorry.
The car was parked in the garage, and Gerard carried Frank into the house and right on up into his bedroom, Bullet barking and practically on Gerard’s heals the entire way. ‘He missed you,’ Gerard had commented about the little dog. Frank let Gerard help him change out of his cold damp clothes and into some warm pajamas, but in the middle of it Gerard discovered a long cut on Frank’s upper arm and two others on his elbow. He made Frank remain shirtless for the time being as he quickly went to go fetch the supplies to clean and bandage Frank up. Frank hadn’t really felt the cuts that much during the drive home. He had been so numb, but now that he was finally warming up, Frank was really feeling the sting of the injuries. The stinging only intensified more as Gerard began cleaning the wounds with a paper towel soaked with an antiseptic. Frank was immediately reminded of the time when he was still Gerard’s captive. When Gerard had saved him from being raped and most likely murdered. When Gerard had him just like this almost, sitting on a hotel bed and cleaning the wounds he got from his would be rapist. That was the first time Frank really started to believe Gerard cared for him. Gerard showed it clearly that night, and he was showing it right now. Frank was still upset over everything, but a faint smile still touched his lips.
“There, all finished,” Gerard said, placing the bottle of antiseptic and used paper towels on the nightstand for now. “What the hell were you trying to do anyway? Break in to that place?” Gerard mused as he helped Frank pull on a long sleeved t-shirt.
“I wouldn’t have had to, if I hadn’t been kicked out of my own house.” Frank let out a round of harsh coughing after that, obviously having gotten sick in his time out in the cold.
Gerard frowned and just helped Frank lie back in bed, getting the warm blankets settled comfortably around him. He then scooped Bullet up in his arms and plopped him onto the bed, the puppy immediately trotting close to Frank and curling up beside him. Gerard took a seat on the side of the bed, but didn’t face Frank. He propped his elbows on his thighs and sat a bit hunched forward, just staring down at his hands clasped together. Frank watched him through his tired eyes, frowning. Was Gerard not going to say anything?
“I’m sorry,” at last came quietly from Gerard, the man still staring down at his hands.
“What?” Frank almost couldn’t believe that he had heard it.
“I’m sorry,” Gerard said again, shifting himself on the bed so he was looking down to Frank now. “I suppose I acted a bit.. rash.”
“You didn’t even let me explain,” Frank coughed some more and felt this need to really make Gerard feel guilty. “You just.. You were a fucking asshole.”
“I won’t deny that.”
“You know the reason I wanna stop? It’s because I worry about something going wrong. It’s because I worry about losing you. I get scared to death about it. I already saw you shot once. Thought you died before my eyes, and I don’t want to go through that again. I don’t.. I don’t wanna see anymore people get hurt. I don’t wanna see anymore people get killed.” Frank sighed deeply before he had to cough again and huddled the blankets up closer to his chin. “You didn’t even care about my reason. You just went crazy and told me you never loved me.”
“I never said that,” Gerard shot back defensively. “I was an asshole, most definitely. And I should have done this and shouldn’t have done that.. But what’s done is done, and it was a big mistake, and I can only hope you’ll forgive me and let me explain.”
Frank was ready to hear this explanation, but Gerard sat up and left the room. Sad and confused, Frank watched the empty doorway Gerard went through and let one of his arms out from underneath the covers so he could pet the puppy lying beside him. Frank sighed deeply. Leave it to Gerard to just leave in the middle of such an important conversation. But Gerard returned rather quickly and came back with a very small clear plastic cup in his hand, a thick dark purple liquid inside.
“Here, it’s cough medicine,” Gerard said, helping Frank sit up for a moment and handing over the little medicine measuring cup to Frank.
Frank couldn’t resist showing Gerard a small grateful smile, even if it was Gerard’s fault in the first place that he got sick. Frank swallowed the medicine down and cringed. It tasted.. purple. Kind of grape and mostly disgusting. He would have asked Gerard to get him a glass of water to wash the taste out of his mouth, but Frank merely handed the cup back to Gerard and settled back down against his pillow. He didn’t want to waste anymore time and just wanted to hear what Gerard had to say. Gerard placed the cup on the nightstand, just adding to the clutter he created there, and once again took a seat on the side of the bed. Frank watched as Gerard paused to take a determine breath before Gerard let their eyes meet.
“Okay, you know I’m not one for sentimental shit ..well, at least not in large doses. And that whole, pouring your heart out thing, that’s a never for me. But now for you, sugar doll, here it is.” Another breath. “I was an idiot. I jumped on the defensive, Frankie. Jumped to conclusions. And basically.. I was afraid,” Gerard admitted. “You wanna stop what I do.. who I am. It wouldn’t be long before you’d wanna stop being with me. It was a sign that you were soon gonna leave me because you didn’t approve of who I am anymore. I wasn’t about to go through the pain of you pushing me away, so I pushed you away first on my own terms before you could. And it was retarded, and hell, I’ll be the first to admit I’m a bit mentally unstable, but that doesn’t excuse what I did. Now especially since I know your reason, and because.. because I do love you, sugar, and if anything had happened to you.. God, I never would have forgiven myself.”
Gerard had done it out of fear. Break Frank’s heart before Frank could break his, and knowing the kind of person Gerard was having to be in control, Frank could understand. Frank already knew he was going to forgive Gerard no matter what, but Gerard had actually honest to god said it. Gerard loved him. Frank was smiling and floored. He watched Gerard a little confused then though, as the man now held his hand wearily and loosely at his own throat. Gerard had this look on his face like he was sudden queasy, and he swallowed down roughly.
“Sorry,” Gerard cleared his throat, swallowing down again. “Believe me, sugar, I meant everything I just said. It’s just talking like that makes me wanna throw up a little.”
Frank couldn’t help the little snort he made, and he smiled more. Just Gerard being Gerard, and it made things feel like everything was normal. “Are we okay now?”
“I’d certainly like to think so, sugar.”
“I know you don’t wanna stop, but you won’t make me rob anymore, will you?” Frank asked, biting his lip and biting back another string of coughs that wanted to rise.
“Of course not. Whatever my sugar doll wants, my sugar doll gets. ..Well, within reason.” Gerard chuckled a bit and stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt he was wearing before dimming the lamp on the nightstand and slipping into bed next to Frank, Bullet between them. They both shifted on to their sides so they could face each other, and Gerard looked away thoughtful for a moment before gazing back at Frank with a serious expression. “I’ll stop too.”
“What?” Frank looked shocked. “You mean you’ll..”
“If it’ll put your worried heart at ease then I suppose it’s time for me to end this chapter of my life. Shit, it’s all I know how to do, but for you, Frankie ..for us, I’ll hang up my guns.”
“You.. you mean it?” Frank smiled.
“I mean it,” Gerard smiled back, and Frank sighed contentedly as Gerard gently stroked the side of his face with the back if his fingers.
“So I guess were not partners anymore then.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” Gerard nudged Bullet to make the dog go lay down on the other side of Frank so he could shift his body closer to Frank’s, letting his hand rub up and down Frank’s arm a few times before trailing it down to Frank’s hand and linking their fingers together. “Just a different kind.”
“Like a boyfriend kinda partner?” Frank inquired with a coy smile.
“Like hell you’ll ever get me to say the B word,” Gerard smiled and leaned in for a second to kiss Frank’s forehead. “But yeah, something like that.”
Frank smiled more, moving his body to close the tiny gap between him and Gerard. He cuddled right up against Gerard’s chest, wrapping an arm around him, sleepy and content. The smile stayed on his face as he felt Bullet get up and shift closer to him too, so the puppy was curled up against the back of his legs. “You know what we’ll do for money instead?” Frank asked, though he wasn’t really worried about it. They’d figure something out.
“Who knows,” Gerard shrugged a bit. “We’ve got time to think about it.” Gerard let out a little chuckle as he thought, “Hell, maybe we could lease that building you tried to break into. Start our own little business.”
“That could be cool,” Frank grinned at the idea. “I just want a normal life with you, but we can still do exciting things together, you know?”
“Whatever the love of my life wants,” Gerard said, and Frank smiled happily. “Shit, listen to me,” Gerard laughed. “How the hell did this happen?”
“What?” Frank asked with an amused tone of voice.
“All this time I thought I corrupted you, but it was really you, Frankie, that corrupted me into something mushy and pitiful.”
Frank giggled. “But it’s not so bad admitting you love someone, is it? Admitting you need them, and just wanting be with them?”
“No, I suppose not,” Gerard pulled away just a bit so he could smile softly at Frank. “Why don’t you get some sleep now, Frankie. You must be exhausted.”
Frank closed his eyes and smiled as he felt Gerard kiss his forehead and smooth back his hair. Everything he went through to lead up to this moment now seemed absolutely worth the struggle and fear and pain he had to endure. Now that Frank knew Gerard really did love him
“Sleep,” he heard Gerard murmur as he lay warm, content, safe, and loved. “And when you wake up, tomorrow will be the start of new life together. You, me, and the scraggly mutt. And as long as your in it, sugar doll, I think this normal life together thing.. it’s gonna work out just fine.”